Pretty boy (probably TMI)
Apr. 7th, 2009 06:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
parasitegirlPretty Boy update.
I realize I haven't updated ya'll on the Pretty Boy, what with bigger fish to fry.
Well, a few weeks ago he came over on a Thursday after work because we both had Friday off for national holidays (banks and schools being, in this case, equal). When someone arrives 30 minutes before last train, there isn't much pretense to be had. Usually I'll rent a movie or make a boy a meal, ya know, I like the social aspects of having someone over...but it wasn't expected of me and I didn't bother.
I met him at the station and laughed out loud at the casual suit and less puffy hair. He was jealous of my fine glitter velvet pants and talked about how he wished it was more social acceptable for men to wear velvets. We talked a bit but I started thinking, "Yeah, we think the other is pretty. That's the common thread." I ignored the 'I'm shy" stuff this time. Shy people don't arrive at your place 30 minutes before last train.
Sex was had. The phrase I still can't get out of my head for what I had was "Spider Monkey Sex" it was fun marathon but I can't see it being my regular future.
Moments reminded me of a past relationship I had with a lovely boy who, it must be said, was high maintenance. My ex used to (early on, like the second time we spent a weekend together) look into my eyes, compliment me and tell me how he felt for me...and after a few awkward silences on my part he eventually asked why I didn't say anything, because usually when he admitted to such feelings women told him how overwhelmingly they felt about him right back. I sort of shrugged and mumbled about how perhaps those women weren't used to hearing such things, but, well, I was and it took me being sure of my feelings for me to talk about those feelings, not the revelation of others. My ex no doubt earnestly meant what he said, but my ex was also accustomed to his sensitive words blowing off undergarments and unlocking hearts in all he'd dated prior to me. I'm my master of my panties, there is no passive voice in their removal.
With Pretty Boy I learned how tired I can get of being told how beautiful and sexy I am. I suspect he usually dates younger, less secure women and this praise in combination with the shy (act?) probably drops panties and melts hearts...it's probably carelessly broken a few. Praising my looks just doesn't do it for me....if it's just about my beauty, you're missing the bigger picture. I know, I know, cry you a river. Pretty boy wants to praise me, wah wah wah.
In the Olympics of the Monkeybed I started to feel that there was some sort of Russian judge somewhere he was trying to get a ten from. I don't think the insistent questions about what I wanted and praise for what I did was about pleasing me. I suspect it was about him feeling good about what he could do. Still, was fun. As boys go, I'd rather have one interested in the variety of ways I can be pleased...for whatever selfish reason...than one who doesn't think about my pleasure. I'll leave him a bit better than I found him, campfire rules, his future lovers won't know who to thank.
I can't tell if the shy/insecure thing is an act. I don't think it's so false as to simply be a player rouse...I think he's the unwise combination of being insecure, needy, and a player. I suspect he needs a lot of praise, longing, flirtation at all times and juggles affections to get it. The one thing I think I'd like him to understand, but that he probably won't get for years, is that with his looks and skills he could easily be upfront about not wanting a commitment and the fact he is juggling women and...while he'd loose a handful of insecure girls and sycophants...he'd gain respect and longer lasting trysts with others. I'll probably see him again, because I think under it all he's mostly sweet...just not yet fully formed...and, yes, that "mostly sweet" judgement probably is my panties reacting to his looks... it's spring! The man in the boat has been pointing out docks left and right...but I also have a sneaking suspicion that a much better fit is nearby and in a few months I may need to give up a few toys/trysts/ultimately unsuitables.
We've had some teaching moments thus far:
I didn't hear from him until about a week later when, on a Friday night, I got a message asking if I was in Tokyo? Was I free? Well, I was in Tokyo. I even had a change of clothing and contact solution packed in with my costumes...and was in a Starbucks across from Hachiko waiting for my date/tryst. I mailed him back that I hadn't thought I'd hear from him and that I already had plans, thank you.
If you wanna see a girl again you contact her sooner. You realize that if you want to see her others might as well. You don't goddamned pout at a bootycall fail, it'll only get you reminded of the fact that responsible people mail sooner. "I miss u" will only get an "You barely know me, you miss the idea of me." Poor boy, he has the English skills to sweet talk and say all the things that we're told boys should say... only to find the girl who those words don't work on.
He tried another bootycall the following Friday, when I was out with Eflin DJ Ahimsa (Daishu). Daishu and I had made plans two weeks in advance because that's what my weekends have been like, busy so he got a "I'm out drinking with a friend! Sorry, gotta make plans earlier" I had promised (midweek, he was learning) to come over to Pretty Boy's place on Saturday after The Indigo but I realized (yeah, TMI, bite me) that I was coming down with a stress-related yeast infection and thus I'd rather hang out with friends and cuddly dj's than deal with what staying over at his place when perhaps not penetrable. Sunday was spent with Puppy. Puppy broke all expectations because we managed to have an IronMan DVD night BEFORE part 2 hit theaters.
Pretty Boy and I had a frank talk about the risks you don't take if you have multiple partners, which I think should have happened to him years ago, kids these days. Because my ob/gyn can NEVER just give me yeast infection meds and ALWAYS makes me wait a week for a slew of STI tests just in case, I will be up to date on tests, just in case. (*New readers who want to know more about ob/gyn in Japan, you may enjoy entries found under the crotch tag)
Dunno when I'll see him next, probably in a few weekends. My friend Daniel is crashing at my place this Wednesday so I won't be rushing to celebrate Pretty Boy's birthday but have told him to go have fun. I haven't decided how I will spend my birthday in two weeks, but he hasn't been the first boy to spring to mind. Yeah, so I'm a bit ambivalent. You wouldn't be the first to remind me that shiny objects can quickly become smudged and patinated with handling.
I realize I haven't updated ya'll on the Pretty Boy, what with bigger fish to fry.
Well, a few weeks ago he came over on a Thursday after work because we both had Friday off for national holidays (banks and schools being, in this case, equal). When someone arrives 30 minutes before last train, there isn't much pretense to be had. Usually I'll rent a movie or make a boy a meal, ya know, I like the social aspects of having someone over...but it wasn't expected of me and I didn't bother.
I met him at the station and laughed out loud at the casual suit and less puffy hair. He was jealous of my fine glitter velvet pants and talked about how he wished it was more social acceptable for men to wear velvets. We talked a bit but I started thinking, "Yeah, we think the other is pretty. That's the common thread." I ignored the 'I'm shy" stuff this time. Shy people don't arrive at your place 30 minutes before last train.
Sex was had. The phrase I still can't get out of my head for what I had was "Spider Monkey Sex" it was fun marathon but I can't see it being my regular future.
Moments reminded me of a past relationship I had with a lovely boy who, it must be said, was high maintenance. My ex used to (early on, like the second time we spent a weekend together) look into my eyes, compliment me and tell me how he felt for me...and after a few awkward silences on my part he eventually asked why I didn't say anything, because usually when he admitted to such feelings women told him how overwhelmingly they felt about him right back. I sort of shrugged and mumbled about how perhaps those women weren't used to hearing such things, but, well, I was and it took me being sure of my feelings for me to talk about those feelings, not the revelation of others. My ex no doubt earnestly meant what he said, but my ex was also accustomed to his sensitive words blowing off undergarments and unlocking hearts in all he'd dated prior to me. I'm my master of my panties, there is no passive voice in their removal.
With Pretty Boy I learned how tired I can get of being told how beautiful and sexy I am. I suspect he usually dates younger, less secure women and this praise in combination with the shy (act?) probably drops panties and melts hearts...it's probably carelessly broken a few. Praising my looks just doesn't do it for me....if it's just about my beauty, you're missing the bigger picture. I know, I know, cry you a river. Pretty boy wants to praise me, wah wah wah.
In the Olympics of the Monkeybed I started to feel that there was some sort of Russian judge somewhere he was trying to get a ten from. I don't think the insistent questions about what I wanted and praise for what I did was about pleasing me. I suspect it was about him feeling good about what he could do. Still, was fun. As boys go, I'd rather have one interested in the variety of ways I can be pleased...for whatever selfish reason...than one who doesn't think about my pleasure. I'll leave him a bit better than I found him, campfire rules, his future lovers won't know who to thank.
I can't tell if the shy/insecure thing is an act. I don't think it's so false as to simply be a player rouse...I think he's the unwise combination of being insecure, needy, and a player. I suspect he needs a lot of praise, longing, flirtation at all times and juggles affections to get it. The one thing I think I'd like him to understand, but that he probably won't get for years, is that with his looks and skills he could easily be upfront about not wanting a commitment and the fact he is juggling women and...while he'd loose a handful of insecure girls and sycophants...he'd gain respect and longer lasting trysts with others. I'll probably see him again, because I think under it all he's mostly sweet...just not yet fully formed...and, yes, that "mostly sweet" judgement probably is my panties reacting to his looks... it's spring! The man in the boat has been pointing out docks left and right...but I also have a sneaking suspicion that a much better fit is nearby and in a few months I may need to give up a few toys/trysts/ultimately unsuitables.
We've had some teaching moments thus far:
I didn't hear from him until about a week later when, on a Friday night, I got a message asking if I was in Tokyo? Was I free? Well, I was in Tokyo. I even had a change of clothing and contact solution packed in with my costumes...and was in a Starbucks across from Hachiko waiting for my date/tryst. I mailed him back that I hadn't thought I'd hear from him and that I already had plans, thank you.
If you wanna see a girl again you contact her sooner. You realize that if you want to see her others might as well. You don't goddamned pout at a bootycall fail, it'll only get you reminded of the fact that responsible people mail sooner. "I miss u" will only get an "You barely know me, you miss the idea of me." Poor boy, he has the English skills to sweet talk and say all the things that we're told boys should say... only to find the girl who those words don't work on.
He tried another bootycall the following Friday, when I was out with Eflin DJ Ahimsa (Daishu). Daishu and I had made plans two weeks in advance because that's what my weekends have been like, busy so he got a "I'm out drinking with a friend! Sorry, gotta make plans earlier" I had promised (midweek, he was learning) to come over to Pretty Boy's place on Saturday after The Indigo but I realized (yeah, TMI, bite me) that I was coming down with a stress-related yeast infection and thus I'd rather hang out with friends and cuddly dj's than deal with what staying over at his place when perhaps not penetrable. Sunday was spent with Puppy. Puppy broke all expectations because we managed to have an IronMan DVD night BEFORE part 2 hit theaters.
Pretty Boy and I had a frank talk about the risks you don't take if you have multiple partners, which I think should have happened to him years ago, kids these days. Because my ob/gyn can NEVER just give me yeast infection meds and ALWAYS makes me wait a week for a slew of STI tests just in case, I will be up to date on tests, just in case. (*New readers who want to know more about ob/gyn in Japan, you may enjoy entries found under the crotch tag)
Dunno when I'll see him next, probably in a few weekends. My friend Daniel is crashing at my place this Wednesday so I won't be rushing to celebrate Pretty Boy's birthday but have told him to go have fun. I haven't decided how I will spend my birthday in two weeks, but he hasn't been the first boy to spring to mind. Yeah, so I'm a bit ambivalent. You wouldn't be the first to remind me that shiny objects can quickly become smudged and patinated with handling.
