New least favorite Assistant

[parasitegirl]

Saying, "I am a 33 year old woman. I am not a baby." looses a certain amount of impact if you're visibly on the verge of a temper tantrum.

I am glad I opted to go home and sleep in my own bed last night. I figured that waking up at 5:30 in order to make it to work on my last class day of the year wouldn't be good for my health or my attitude...and I knew I'd be working with one of my least loved assistant teachers.

Until today I wasn't sure why this teacher rubs me the wrong way. I've talked about it with the Milkman's Sister, and this teacher also bugs here...but we're not sure why. Was it the blanket statements about Americans/Foriegners/We Japanese? Those didn't help, they never do. I have my sweeping generalizations, but I try not to trot them out in social small talk with new people I need to work with.  Was it the way she seems sort of detached in class in a way that doesn't befit an assistant who should be able to hold her own and support me? Not helping either. Was it the delayed "Aha!" moments on things we'd talked about the semester before and assured me she understood, totally forgivable. Some teachers take time! The Phonic-crazed one has joined me in my cause!!!..but today it hit me.

I am neither a baby nor a developmentally disabled adult.

It's the little things that pile up...because there need to be enough so you're not just the gaijin over-reacting.

I arrived and her first greeting to me was "We teach 5th and 6th today."
"I know."

I know my schedule before my assistants know.

Sure, I have problems remembering which homerooms I have taught which lessons to, it happens when you teach at 15 schools with 9 assistants. Because I teach at many schools, and because my lesson plans are heavy on the visual aids, I prepare and bring the teaching aids for the day's lessons to whichever school I am teaching at. I have learned not to rely on a school having what I need, or remembering to prep for me. I have not yet forgotten a single teaching aide in my two semesters at 15 schools. I came with the maps, dots, worksheets, dvd, cd, and a variety of picture cards for 5th and 6th...they were in my hand

But, whatever.

And I've been to the school 3  times this semester, the last time being last week I was having problems breathing and talking, so she should know I know my drill and that I do my homework. I taught with her two days last week at two different schools.

We talked with the 5th grade teacher about what I need of them and why. I'm big on insisting that we explain the why of no translating, the why of being aware of the message their body is sending and so on, because if they understand the value of it they are more likely to try.

My assistant did something I noticed before but hadn't picked up on. She likes to translate for me. Not just English to Japanese, but my Japanese to the Japanese she thinks they will understand. Today I realized that she is not clarifying key points, she's repeating the whole thing with minor tweaks. No other co-worker or assistant treats me like my Japanese is pure crap. She does it automatically. She also likes to automatically jump in an translate things for me into English...and in doing so sometimes doesn't listen well enough to the speaker to translate correctly or gives me contrary information. Sometimes in doing it she talks over my reply to the original speaker.

I was not enjoying this.

Then there was the 6th grade teacher. She told me he wouldn't speak English, doesn't like it, but I felt it was worth explaining the why to him. He's young and cute and not yet set in teaching ways. I started in Japanese. She told me she could translate and I should just do it in English...I started in English...and then changed back into Japanese. The correct way to connect to a teacher who doesn't like English is NOT by not speaking his language. The correct way is to be humble, speak my Japanese and explain the why, show by example. He seemed to understand...and indeed he was GREAT in class and interacted with his students and seemed to enjoy the lesson. The Milkman's Sister asked how that class was, because her chat with my assistant left her worried that he'd be a total asshole. Nope.

I suspect that the teacher doesn't like English because of how he was taught and he doesn't like her. It was my first time working with him and he seems to be open to English taught my way.

Right after we talked to him I explained in English to her why I didn't want her to translate for me. Giving the impression that I need a translator creates an automatic wall between me and teachers. It allows them to think that I won't understand them or how things are done in Japan. It keeps me a super Other. I've learned that having a translator with teacher communication at schools. I asked her how she'd feel if she were in America and her friend always spoke for her and people, when they wanted to talk to her, would address all comments to her friend...even though she understands English She said that wouldn't be fun.

Then I said I needed to use the bathroom and would be right back. As I have said, I have been there before. I got up and headed out the faculty door.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?"
"Yes, and if I'm wrong I'll figure it out"
There is always a teachers only men and women's room near the faculty room. It is always labeled in Japanese and often in Japanese and English. You step out of the faculty room, look left and right, and you've got it.

I stepped out of the faculty room and she rushed to follow.
"There is the bathroom!" she pointed out to me.
"I know. I see it. I can read and it has icon for women. "
She continued to the door where the large light switches are.
"This is how you turn on the lights" (click) and she turned to go back to the faculty room, showing me that she'd made this unneeded effort for me. Plus, the bathroom has frosted glass windows and it was sunny.

I can figure out a light switch. Even if one switch is for the fan and one is for the light...preeeeeeetttttty easy stuff...even if I haven't had my morning coffee.

Which is about when I snapped.
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"?"
"I'm sorry, I've just never had an adult show me how to press a light switch."

Yes, I am a 33 year old woman...

After I used the bathroom I returned to the faculty room and tried to apologize for my being snappy...I didn't want to...but thought I should before we started teaching. I really just wanted to ask her "Do you know why you bring out the bitch in me? Because I am trying to figure it out." but instead explained how she'd caught me off guard with how much she kept explaining despite the fact I do this job every day.

Now, when I teach a class for the first time I have a little speech I give to the kids. It's in Japanese and it goes something like this:

"Is it ok if I speak Japanese? Great. Now, when I teach I have only one rule. Please don't say (delivered in an comical voice) "whiiiiiiiine"  " I don't understand English!!!!!" "this is impossible!" "Japanese pleeaaaaaassse?"  If you don't understand. When you don't understand, and it will happen, think, listen, and look...and you'll be able to understand enough of it...ok? ok! Back to English!"

Now, I do this is every class. It serves many purposes. First, it cuts down on whining before it starts and addresses the fact that students WILL have moments of frustration but they also have the brains to get past it. It also is when they learn that I speak Japanese, so when they have a clarifying question in Japanese they know they can ask me, I will reply in English and gestures, but I will understand them...they don't have to only ask my assistant or the teacher. It also makes me more approachable. The whining is usually silly enough that they laugh and it sets a more relaxed mood for class.

So, I started.

"This class is good, they won't say those things." she interrupted.
Not really the point. But when you've taught with me four times earlier in the semester you should have figured out I always do this. And even if you do think these students are super good and don't need the rule...that is information to give me before class, not interrupting me talking to the class...

So, the upswing is I was able to explain, bit by bit, to the milkman's sister WHY it is I don't like teaching with this lady. It's always worse because she likes me there early even when there is no meeting, free "English conversation time" I guess

Bonus dork picture so you can see what I mean by "heavy on visual aids" missing from the picture is the color coded map and worksheets

Comments

[leilia.livejournal.com]

I don't know how you would put up with her. Everything that she does is belittling and condescending. I don't blame you for snapping.

[parasitegirl.livejournal.com]

Well, I do have the ability to report her behavior...and I have. Thankfully others find her annoying for other reasons....but treating someone who works full time and has the title supervisor like that? Noooot smaaaaaaaart

[mercyorbemoaned.livejournal.com]

Wow what a nightmare. You should totally have used the toilet and then gone back and found her and asked her how to flush.

[parasitegirl.livejournal.com]

"Would you like to hold my hand while I go?" was also a phrase I blurted out...but may have been too fast for her.

Seriously, none of my superiors/co-workers speak English. So if my Japanese were that bad, they'd never let me out "unattended" but since they keep having me give speeches and attend meetings to talk to teachers in Japanese.

[akibare.livejournal.com]

HAH! Hilarious...

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Do you think it might be that she is trying to be "helpful"?

I always imagine that your Japanese is as good as Flower's English, ie pretty damn good, just accented and with cute idiomatic things that are not quite "right" but work - or if not at least as good as student Akiko, whose English is simple but who is able to convey fairly complex concepts in simple terms.

[parasitegirl.livejournal.com]

I think she thinks she has the best intentions. But. I have often said, multiple times in the 4 hour stretches, "Yes. I understood. You don't need to translate. Thank you. I understood." because she has translated, often while I was trying to reply to something posed to me.

Other assistants take the time to listen to me when I am talking and responding to other teachers, so they have a good idea of my comprehension level by now. She has been too busy "helping" that she's missed observing.

But she's alarmingly unaware in class, other than when she interupts me. Part of team teaching and working with the homeroom teacher is being aware of what the other teacher is saying or signaling so you know when to hop in. She's not helpful where she needs to be.

The strangest moment in translation was last week when we were walking to a class with two students. She and I couldn't remember if it was my first time with that homeroom or no...so she asked. They said they'd had me before and one student started to zagaret to prove it.

"No, this is your first time." she told me in English.
"...they just said it wasn't...I listened."
"No, they haven't had you as a teacher."
"But they said yes. And that kid is ululating!..."

So I asked the student again in Japanese and they looked at me and said, again, yes...first semester! And I just looked at her...

[kimuchi.livejournal.com]

Holy cow.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

That would be really annoying. I wonder if she's just blinded by the fact that you're a foreigner and just can't accept that you might actually NOT need translation all the time. She might have "foreigners can't understand Japanese" hardwired into her. Either that or she's just a bitch. She could be one of those teachers who finds other, newer teachers threatening - like the kind a lot of my friends have experienced on section from teachers' college, who are just really mean to them.

[kinadancer.livejournal.com]

sounds to me like she is resenting being supervised by a gaijin and is using these tactics to demonstrate her (in her mind) superiority by virtue of being native.

some people suck.

of course i'm sleep deprived, so anything i say should be taken w/ more than a grain of salt.

[parasitegirl.livejournal.com]

I suspect she does resent me...and doesn't even KNOW it.

[kinadancer.livejournal.com]

hmmm, possible.

could you, maybe, stare her down a bit next time she does something like translate incorrectly? wait a beat after she's done talking, especially when you know she has translated incorrectly, then speak to the person she was attempting to translate for?

this will embarrass her, which may or may not be desirable, and would work, but would damage your working relationship with her, but I think you need to establish your dominance (i.e. supervisor role) with her...

maybe turn it into a lesson so that she can save face?

how about talking to her directly (and privately) about how you know she incorrectly translated for you, and that the next time she does it you will have to correct her in front of the person so that you are not embarrassed by her behavior?

[parasitegirl.livejournal.com]

Done it. Doesn't phase her.

Have asked her not to translate. Have spoken directly to people talking to me without listening to her translation.

Have even explained, one on one, why I prefer to speak directly to teachers...asked how she would would feel if, when she was in America people did the same things to her she was doing to me (Answer: Sad)

Have even said, "please. I need to do this or my Japanese won't get better. "

Wasn't a one day thing. But I am glad I was well rested enough to face it today.

[akibare.livejournal.com]

Wow. Even snapping it seems you show great restraint to not just smack her one! Good thing she's just at the one place...

We had (had! Yes! Guy finally left!) a guy N in the programming group I work for who shared some personality traits with this woman. He never would work together unless forced, and when forced, any work that other team members did he insisted on going over with a fine toothed comb and nitpicking to death, making sure to tweak things here and there - things that were fine to start with. He would do the "let me explain to you [some basic concept that we all WELL understand]..." in endless detail. Heaven forbid you have an actual question about his work to ask, as he would back up to "here's the light switch!" level and speak forever.

Any solution other members would come up with would be met with "but have you really considered ALL of the fine details involved? I think you're maybe not looking at the big picture..." The most memorable example, which has become almost an in-joke now, he actually started quibbling over simple addition. x+1. Are we SUUUURE it's safe... Gah :)

It's hard to know just what to do, it seems a good thing that you talked directly to the other people and hopefully they too pick up on the fact that you're (1) not needing this woman doing what she's doing, and (2) sort of annoyed by it, so they'll kinda tune her out as well. Even if SHE doesn't stop, hopefully she'll reflect less on you. The sort of staring at her with an awkward pause that kinadancer mentions wouldn't be so much for her, but a message for the others in the room...

But maybe you'll get lucky like we did and she'll move! :D

[kimuchi.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I think I worked for that guy. He had me write some little monitoring scripts for the year-2000 rollover (remember that?), just in case the big standard monitoring package went awry. He decided to go over them "for style" (the style guidelines I should've followed? Existed only in his head.) and...broke them so they didn't run at all.

[naomikritzer]

I volunteered at Molly's school today (I always go and volunteer on Thursdays) and had a run-in with the Media Teacher (read: library/computer teacher). He's new this year and I'd never interacted with him much, but after the very first thing he said, I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out, "Are you a condescending prick to everyone, or do you save it for the parent volunteers?" Because OMG. He continued with a mixture of "condescending prick" and "techie martyr" (you know the type: sets everything up in such a way that no one else can use it, then sighs heavily with an air of deep frustration when asked for help using it) for the entire 45 minutes I was there. (I had to use his computer because I needed to print something in color; the only color printer in the school is in the media center.)

Anyway, this rant is by way of asking: have you ever observed this twit interacting with the other teachers and staff at her school? She may be condescending with everyone. And I'd bet money that she is absolutely that condescending with the parents of her students, and I'd speculate that the desire to feel superior and condescend to others may even be what drew her to teaching. (Molly's teacher went into teaching because secretly inside, she's nine years old. But there are definitely people who get into it for less healthy reasons, like "I want to be dictator of my own tiny little realm" or "I want to condescend to people alllllllll day! Every day!")

She sounds incredibly annoying and I salute your restraint in not killing her with your bare hands. I went home after volunteering today and immediately called Ed (my husband) so that I could use swear words while ranting. (I try not to swear when the kids are home. At least not until they're old enough to understand hypocrisy -- i.e., Mom is allowed to use the word 'prick,' but you, my dear, will get into trouble if you say it.)

[sakkaranoush.livejournal.com]

Oh man I feel you on this. What a total headache!